newspapers and now and then saw them in a restaurant or a

theatre in the flesh. He was dazzled by grand people. Tom was a

snob. But that was to the good. Julia hoped to make the most

of Tom’s failing to bind him to her. On one excuse and another,

she invited him to grand parties she gave, persuaded Dolly and

Charles to invite him to lunch, got invitations for him to balls.

Poor lamb ! He looked forward to every opportunity of getting

acquainted with eminent people.

Luckily, Michael took a fancy to him. He even thought Tom could

have a good influence on Roger.

Tom made a great hit with Julia’s friends too. He was a good

listener and could give a piece of useful advice on finance.

3. Something was bothering Tom. He looked gloomy and nervous.

When Julia found out that he had got into debt, she immediately

offered to pay all his debts. But sometimes Tom was so out of

date. He couldn’t sponge on women. Julia blamed herself that she

had led Tom into the life that he couldn’t afford. She tried to

convince him that he shouldn’t drudge her the pleasure of coming

to his rescue, when he was at a loose end. Using all her arts

of persuasion, she was able to convince Tom to borrow money from

her.

4. Julia and Michael were rich enough to send their son to Eton

and then to Cambridge.

Roger was seventeen years old. He didn’t look like his mother or

father. He had no inclination for the world of the theatre. He

held himself in some serious way aloof from his parents and

their friends, though he was always very polite to everybody,

Julia suspected, that he took none of them seriously. He never

bothered Julia and he seemed quite capable of amusing himself.

Though Julia loved him very much, he puzzled her. She thought him

dull and not very intelligent. When she was alone with him, time

dragged on.

When Roger was a child, Julia would often be photographed with

him and these photos made a great hit. She wished he could

always remain the sweet pretty little boy he used to be.

Portion VI.

1. It was no good deceiving herself : Tom didn’t love her. He

was her lover only because it flattered his vanity and gave him

confidence in himself. Besides, he got acquainted with many

distinguished persons through her. It turned his head to realize

that he was on familiar terms with some of them. Julia tried to

do her best to bind him. She encouraged him to be extravagant

to make him realize that he couldn’t do without her. Tom was

anxious to join a good club and she was preparing the ground.

She understood perfectly that their affair couldn’t last, but she

wasn’t able to give up Tom.

2. Julia wasn’t happy at all to find out that Tom was becoming

more and more popular with her grand friends. They were glad to

make the most of his financial knowledge and in their turn they

told their friends about him. It was through Julia, that Tom used

to be asked to parties before. Then he began to receive

invitations from people, whom Julia didn’t know. It seemed that he

could do without her. He was busy nearly all the time. His

casualness hurt Julia. Now she was ready to cut any date to see

him. Julia was jealous of those distinguished ladies, whom he met

in society. She had a law opinion of their virtue and was sure

that they could do everything. Those thoughts rankled her. The

only comfort was that all of them were very greedy and without

Julia’s money Tom wouldn’t be able to lead a life, he had got

used to. Or he would have to break himself of the habit of

throwing his money about.

3. Julia was shocked to find out that people had been gossiping

about her. Her reputation had been so good for many years, that

she thought she could afford to do every thing she wanted.

It was Michael, who first noticed that. He accused Tom jokingly

of compromising Julia. At first Julia was taken aback, but at

last she could keep her presence of mind. She was sure, that

Michael wasn’t jealous of Tom. He was too self-satisfied and self-

confident for that. He thought he knew Julia inside and out, but

in fact, he knew nothing about her. He paid no attention to the

gossip and he didn’t mind Julia having some fun. But Julia

couldn’t forget his remark, it gave her no rest.

She racked her brains to understand who could have told it to

him. Then suddenly it occurred to her, that it was Dolly, no

doubt.

4. Julia was furious with Dolly. She wouldn’t stand interference

with her private life. That was none of her business.

Julia was determined to have the matter out with Dolly. She rang

her up to make an appointment. Dolly’s voice sounded cold and

hostile. Julia had always been able to turn Dolly round her

finger, but now she could hardly convince Dolly to come.

When they met, they talked about indifferent things, and then Julia

got down to the point. She never took her eyes off Dolly’s

face while talking. She failed to convince Dolly that Tom wasn’t

her lover. But Dolly pretended that she believed her and said

Julia had taken a great weight off her mind.

Portion VII.

1. Julia had already heard the name of Avice Crichton mentioned

a few times. She knew, that there was some talk that this small-

part actress would perhaps get a part in a play they were going

to put on. So, when Michael once mentioned her, Julia wasn’t

taken aback. Michael said that Tom had put in a word for Avice.

Michael thought it was worth while to go and have a look at

her, but as he was busy on Sunday, he asked Julia to go.

Yielding to curiosity, Julia agreed. Tom was to go with her. But

long before Julia had seen her, she made up her mind that Avice

would never get a part in their theatre.

2. Julia was relieved to see that Avice Crichton couldn’t act to

toffee. This fact took a great weight off her mind.

When the curtain fell, Tom said that he wished Julia go behind

and congratulate Avice. Julia was so amazed, that at first, she

didn’t know if she should burst into laughter or get angry. But

she got over her amazement. She was determined to go through

with it.

Though Avice didn’t seem to be nervous and was self-assured, Julia

wasn’t taken in by her grand manners. It even amused her. Julia

saw that Avice was anxious to get this part.

3. Tom was head over ears in love with Avice. As soon as he

could, he brought the conversation to her. It irked him to see

Julia home.

Julia knew that she must put an end to their affair, she must

get over it. The theatre was her only refuge. She felt relief,

when it was time to go there. Merely to be inside a theatre

rested her. In ordinary life she had to stifle her passion and

her anguish, but on the stage she let herself go.

She had never put more of herself into a part.

4. Although Michael himself might not be a good actor, but he

knew good acting from bad. So he saw at once that Julia was

acting like hell, she was exaggerating and over-acting. Her

performance was rotten.

Michael blamed only himself. Julia needed a good rest. He ought

to have insisted on her taking holiday long ago. He said they

would revive some play. He was even prepared to suffer losses.

The only thing, that mattered, was Julia’s health. Once again Julia

was struck by his magnanimity. Michael was the only man she

could rely on. He would never let her down.

5. She decided to go and stay with her mother. Madame de

Lambert, as Michael insisted on calling her, was an old lady well

over seventy. Julia had a feeling that in the course of her

brilliant career, she had a trifle neglected her mother. Now she

could make up for it.

Her mother and aunt led drab monotonous lives and it would be a

great joy for them to have her on a long visit. And for Julia

it was an opportunity to cut herself off completely for a time

from her old life and regain serenity.

Julia, to her great amazement, soon discovered that to them her

celebrity was an embarrassment rather than an asset. They didn’t

even offer to take her with them to pay calls. Julia was taken

aback, when they said that it would be better if she didn’t tell

anyone that she was an actress. But her sense of humour

prevailed and she felt inclined to laugh.

They made much fuss of her not because she was a great actress,

but because she was in poor health and needed a rest.

Portion VIII.

1. Julia often had to listen to women’s stories about how men

followed them in the street, how they tried to catch their eye,

and how it was difficult to get rid of them. It seemed very

flattering to Julia. She often wondered why she’d never been

followed. It wasn’t as if she had no sex appeal. And what if

not ? Julia decided to put the matter to the test. She had to

be sure.

Julia took much pains to look neither too plain nor too

respectable. A slight smile hovered her lips. Several times Julia

caught her breath catching a man’s eye and expecting him to

start following her, but they all passed by without paying any

attention to her. It was humiliating. It flashed through her mind

that she had chosen the wrong street. But there was nothing to

do.

2. Julia almost lost all hope of being picked up. Suddenly she

noticed a young man looking at her and never taking his eyes

off her. She slandered her pace feeling him behind. It was

beginning to look like an adventure. Julia looked forward to

getting into conversation with the young man. It was interesting

what he would offer. Julia looked at him doubtfully. Judging by

his appearance, it was quite clear that he couldn’t afford to

invite her to a restaurant. She looked him in the face

encouraging him to start speaking. But then suddenly he called

her by her name. She was so astonished, that she nearly jumped

out of her skin.

3. Julia looked forward to the beginning of the rehearsals.

Though Julia had been on the stage for many years, every time

she tried a new part she didn’t feel like a leading lady, but

as if she was a girl playing her first part. She was glad to

meet with other members of the cast. Most of them she knew very

well. Only with actors she felt at ease. She was one of them.

This atmosphere of make-believe was the only one where she could

breathe.

Besides, the rehearsals distracted her mind from disturbing

thoughts. She felt that soon she would be able to get over her

sorrow. Now Tom was his own master. She didn’t care two straws

for him.

4. Julia greeted Avice. They talked about indifferent things, but

Julia watched her out of the corners of her eyes. Michael was

disappointed after the first rehearsal. It seemed she wasn’t

capable of taking directions. He was ready to dismiss her at

once. But Julia couldn’t let it happen. Tom would think that

Avice was dismissed because Julia was jealous of him. Julia had

enough influence on Michael to make him keep Avice in the cast.

She suggested that Michael should go through the part with Avice

in private. In that case she’d be able to give a good

performance. Besides, it was an iron cast part. It was impossible

to spoil it. But at the bottom of her heart Julia always

remembered that she would have to get even with Avice. She’d

never make a success. She’d fail and Julia would see to it. And

it would make up for her anguish.

Portion IX.

1. Julia couldn’t dismiss from her mind the curious conversation

she had had with Roger. She felt uneasy because he accused her

of lacking in personality, he said that Julia didn’t exist apart

from her roles.

She had a talk with Charles about Roger. But he didn’t share

her feelings. He seemed to sympathise more with Roger than with

her. In some way he took Roger seriously. Charles told Julia

that she had nothing to worry about, things would straighten out

for Roger after a while. She should just leave him alone.

Having heard it, Julia felt ill at ease. Roger was thankful to

her, because she had always let him lead his own life. It seemed

strange that such different people thought alike.

2. The first night was special in Julia’s life. In by-gone years

she had been extremely nervous before it. Since early morning

she began to feel slightly sick and towards evening she was so

worked up, that she was about losing her presence of mind.

But now, after having passed through that ordeal so many times,

she had learnt to check her nervousness. But still, by the time

the play was to be begun, she started feeling ill at ease, grew

irritable. Those, who knew her well enough, took care to keep out

of her way. The necessity to speak to people irritated her, she

wished everyone would leave her alone.

But at the bottom of her heart, Julia had a notion that their

new play would be a hit. She looked forward to the moment she

would face the hall, packed with people and would demonstrate

again her power over the public.

3. Michael was the only one, who guessed that Julia had let

Avice down. His eyes were shining with complacency. He thought

that Julia had played such a trick because she was jealous of

Avice to him. He couldn’t but feel flattered. As Julia knew her

husband inside and out, she had a notion what he was thinking

about. She laughed up her sleeve at his mistake. One couldn’t

cure him of his complacency. It would be better to let him

think what he wanted. She really was inclined to laugh, though

she checked herself, she couldn’t conceal a slight smile.

She had settled a score with Avice. She deserved it because she

had a trial to stay in her way.

4. Now Julia was free from the bonds, which had burdened her so

much. She had got over her pain and was relishing her freedom.

She had been such a fool to take Tom and their affair

seriously. But that had been amusing, and it could come in useful

for a new part.

Roger had said that her acting was a make-believe. But that make-

believe was the only reality for her. She was an artist, who

used people’s feelings and her own as a material for the art

and beauty creation.

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